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#1 willgreen

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 01:50 PM

Hey guys. Here's a new one so maybe u can help. On Saturday some of my friends went out without me. The discussion of my hair must have come up and they found old photos of me with some hair in Facebook. Well one girl wrote a comment "bring back your hair!!" On it. I was confused as I didn't know whether to delete the photo and appear sensitive or allow a public debate to ensue. I deleted it. Then later they apologised excessively to me asking was I mad. It turned into this big issue. I know u will say oh it's good they think u can grow it back. Which is true. But how would u handle this situation?

#2 vinnydiesel

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 01:56 PM

I got tons of facebook pics of me before SMP.  Rather than try to rectify the situation, it's better to just leave it alone.  Trying to mask it by removing old pics, for example, will make things even more obvious to others.  



#3 HIS - Ed

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 02:02 PM

Its a perspective problem Will, you start from a place where you are incredibly sensitive to this type of comment... which I am sure to everyone else just looked like a perfectly normal contribution to your Facebook page. Personally, I would have left it there. It didn't even need a reply... why would a public debate have started???  It only did because you deleted it and created the issue. But if you felt compelled to respond then you could have pointed out that the start of summer is not the time to grow out your hair.



#4 willgreen

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 02:03 PM

But what about that pic going on to your recent timeline and opening u up to debate

#5 willgreen

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 02:06 PM

I think I reacted in an irrational way and now I feel I have drawn attention to it as being a sore point for me. In saying this maybe they won't make comments about peoples physical appearance in future with such flipency. Nobody should be told or advised how they should look unless asked. It's rude

#6 willgreen

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 02:09 PM

Also. I'm sensitive as I started losing hair at 16. How anybody could be bald by 18 and sane is beyond me. Of course I have self esteem issues even with very accomplished smp
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#7 HIS - Ed

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 02:24 PM

It was tough, but I managed it. You will too. But not this side of coming to terms with it... something I did over time and before the internet gave access to this sort of virtual community. Eventually, it was travelling Asia and meeting people from all walks with all kinds of attitudes that made me understand my appearance was unimportant. I came back a different man and guess what... the world treated my differently.

Maybe you could short-circuit the process with some therapy - I am only suggesting that because of the long list of posts that suggest it might help. You are on here among people looking to support you, many of whom have been through similar journeys. The bottom line is getting away from a mentality where you see yourself as a victim, of baldness, of sharp comments, of Facebook posts. Rise above it and get a grip on the things that really matter about you. 


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#8 dasher

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 06:07 PM

Hey guys. Here's a new one so maybe u can help. On Saturday some of my friends went out without me. The discussion of my hair must have come up and they found old photos of me with some hair in Facebook. Well one girl wrote a comment "bring back your hair!!" On it. I was confused as I didn't know whether to delete the photo and appear sensitive or allow a public debate to ensue. I deleted it. Then later they apologised excessively to me asking was I mad. It turned into this big issue. I know u will say oh it's good they think u can grow it back. Which is true. But how would u handle this situation?

You worry about this stuff way to much .

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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#9 Trendy

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Posted 30 May 2017 - 03:41 PM

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Hi willgreen!

This is funny. One of my neighbor had asked me the same question last week. Why I do not let my hair grow?

My answer was:" I have had a psoriasis on my head some years ago and sometimes my head starts to itches. And that itches I can only stop if i use lotion on my head daily and with hair it is not possible to use lotion. So I have a shaved head!" But that was a lie of course!  and he said:"Oh, yeah, I understand...!"  Problem solved! :) 


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#10 Xander_Cage

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Posted 23 June 2017 - 05:12 AM

What Trendy says above is a great reason. You can add that a form of psoriasis treatment is exposure to sunshine or UVB rays. In fact, many times that can eliminate the unsightly appearance. In my own experience with seborrheic dermatitis, the same is true. This is a fairly common condition which most people call dandruff. However, it can lead to very painful sores on the scalp which happened to me. A good excuse for shaved head with no trace of unsightly appearance such as psoriasis can leave, using the "dandruff" excuse is a pretty easy out. 

 

That being said - to be honest with you dude, you're going to comments about growing back your hair. Especially if you're a younger guy and from what I can gather, you seem to be. Society expects us younger guys to grow back our hair at some point after a shave if we can. It is what it is. I have gone back and forth with shaving the head and wearing a hairpiece, and I can tell you - don't be like me. Make your peace that your hair is gone, embrace SMP and the shaved head, come up with whatever excuse you need to rationalize to your friends if you so choose, and hit the gym hard. Grow some facial hair if you can. Confidence grows by your perception of yourself. You can't control hair loss, so fix the things you can control. Then teach me how you did it. 


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#11 Rekke

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Posted 23 June 2017 - 01:49 PM

I'm 19 and have gotten the "grow back your hair" comments way too many times. It's official, society is absolutely fucked up. Just fuck these shallow chicks, fucking scumbags
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#12 willgreen

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Posted 29 June 2017 - 04:56 AM

I would like to restate, I have absolutely no regrets about smp. If I had the choice I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But then there are so many times when I feel so hard done by. I see all these good looking guys with their cool hairstyles and being the vain guy I am, I long for that. I can't even remember ever having hair. Peoples comments therefore are extra stinging to me. I have come up with the excuse that I have very curly, wavy thinning hair which was true when I was young and therefore prefer the streamlined look. The teenagers I teach, dont realise the difference and in general just think I am bald, to them bald is bald. It is a constant battle to deal with their comments, questions and teases. Oh the joy of being a teacher to young teens.  But I have had lots of questions from friends who after a while realise that it looks like I have hair which I shave. 


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